Top 11 Anti-Thanksgiving Songs

Frank MastropoloCategories:Latest NewsTop 11

Rock Cellar Magazine

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

– Jon Stewart

Feeling thankful about anything yet? Neither are we. Thanksgiving is approaching, and the day is supposed to be about gratitude but let’s face it, the world is filled with nothing but ingrates.

  1. “They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!” by Napoleon XIV

 Recording engineer Jerry Samuels — as Napoleon XIV —  said he came up with this 1966 novelty hit while sitting in his vibrating lounger smoking a joint. Back in the studio, Samuels manipulated the tape recording speed to accentuate the song’s insanity theme.

Napoleon has no gratitude towards his ex-girlfriend, whom he blames for his mental state: “I cooked your food, I cleaned your house / And this is how you pay me back / For all my kind unselfish loving deeds / Huh?

Because it poked fun at mental illness, the song was widely banned and Napoleon soon disappeared from the recording industry.

  1. “In Every Dream Home a Heartache” by Roxy Music

Brian Ferry and art rockers Roxy Music recorded 1973’s “In Every Dream Home a Heartache” for their second LP,For Your Pleasure. Talk about running out of ideas: Ferry wrote the love song to an ungrateful blow-up doll:Inflatable doll / Lover ungrateful / I blew up your body / But you blew my mind.

  1. “Am I Evil?” by Metallica

“Am I Evil?” was originally released in 1980 by Diamond Head, whose lead singer, Sean Harris, has appeared as the Grim Reaper. Metallica released their version in 1984. A great gift idea for Mother’s Day.

My mother was a witch, she was burned alive / Thankless little bitch, for the tears I cried / Take her down now, don’t want to see her face / All blistered and burnt, can’t hide my disgrace.

  1. “The Shirt” by the Kinks

“The Shirt” was an unreleased demo recording when it came out in 1997 as part of the KinksThe Singles Collection / Waterloo Sunset. Ray Davies’ complaint about his ungrateful girlfriend probably should have remained in the hamper.

I was stunned by the magnitude / Of her ingratitude / I spent a good thirty bucks on this babe / Like the shirt I was wearing.”

  1. “Gravy Train” by Mark Knopfler

Mark Knopfler’s “Gravy Train” (no, not the dog food) was recorded in 1996 after Dire Straits disbanded. The attack on the thankless rich was included in the soundtrack of the 2001 film America’s Sweethearts.

There’s the lucky little mothers in their luxury cars / Ridin’ on the Gravy Train / Never thank each other or their lucky stars / Ridin’ on the Gravy Train.”

  1. “We Are the Dead” by Widowmaker

Rock wild man Dee Snider, who admits his Tammy Faye Bakker-style makeup makes him “look like an aging drag queen,” is a hero to countless metalheads as lead singer of Twisted Sister. Dee followed Twisted Sister in 1992 with Widowmaker. In “We Are the Dead,” Snider aired his grievances about his ungrateful sweetheart those who deplete the world of its resources simply because they can (thanks, Dee, for setting us straight!)

Always take, you’re never givin’ / Now we’re gonna lose, for your ingratitude / You’re just so vile and heinous / You never care what we need / You’ve signed our death decree for us.”

  1. “That’s Not Me” by Jennifer Lopez

We all know J. Lo as a glamorous singer and actress. But it’s easy to confuse her with Alice from The Brady Bunch in 2001’s “That’s Not Me.”

I cooked, I cleaned / I washed your clothes / You were so mean / So ungrateful.”

  1. “Diseased” by Seether

Seether is a South African rock band that recorded “Diseased” for their 2005 album Karma and Effect. Lead guitarist Patrick Callahan left the group shortly after its release because he did not like Seether’s new material.

If I decide that I am alive / Then I’m diseased and ungrateful / And if I confide that I am a liar / Then I’m diseased and ungrateful.”

  1. “Dateless Losers” by Reel Big Fish

Ska-punk band Reel Big Fish released “Dateless Losers” in 2002, part of their Cheer Up! LP.

It’s Friday – no phone call, nobody asked us out / We are the dateless losers – lonely until we die! / So unappreciated, why, why, why, why?

We have an idea.

  1. “Can I Forgive Him” by Paul Simon

When the New York Times says your show is “like watching a mortally wounded animal,” maybe Broadway isn’t for you. Paul Simon‘s The Capeman was a 1997 flop that lost $11 million. From “Can I Forgive Him”:

“You Spanish people, you come to this country / Nothing here changes your lives / Ungrateful immigrants asking for pity / When all of your answers are knives.”

Trump’s border wall should have been built around the theater to keep the audience in.

  1. “Look at All Those Idiots” by Mr. Burns and Smithers (The Simpsons)

The 1990 platinum LP The Simpsons Sing the Blues features “Look at All Those Idiots,” a hilarious rap by nuke plant head Montgomery Burns, who complains about ungrateful workers like Homer Simpson.

They Xerox their buttocks / And guess who pays the dime / Their blatant thievery wounds me / Their ingratitude astounds! / I long to lure them to my home / And then release the hounds!”

Any others you’d add to the list? Let us know!

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